It started with the one-inch black chin hair I found. Yes, on my chin. It started on the chin bone but wrapped itself underneath the chin, almost in hiding or to save me from the horror of well, finding it. I mean, why stay married if your husband cannot identify these points of interest? Clearly his protective gene has aged out.

Anyway, that’s how it started. The sudden realization, aided by a 50x magnified mirror, that everything on my head is traveling south. Soon, my chin will reach my bosoms and my bosoms will reach my knees! My earlobes now look like my mothers when she was 94. And, am I mistaken but one is definitely longer than the other. It has to be an inch longer than the other. I feel like an elephant with these ears and yes my nose is getting bigger and longer.

But the real concern is all this loose skin . . . hmmm like an elephant. All those exercises that beauty magazines told us to do to tighten up our facial muscles and neck skin are all the exercises I ignored. Dang! I don’t have a double chin, I just have lots of small chins rolling around under the original one. And my neck looks like a highway map. I called my dermatologist yesterday and she prescribed a serum for $175.00. Whew!

More good news is that my husband is developing cataracts and is oblivious to all this. He still thinks I’m cute.

Well, I’m woke now to the perils of aging! Committed to stop it in its tracks! Between exercises to tighten up my bladder and exercises to tighten up everything else north of my shins, I’m one busy Boomer — hoping to stay put!